When members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints share testimonies of their faith, they often use the trope, “I know the Church is true.” While I have employed that phrase in the past, as a convert to the Church, I recognize that it can sound presumptuous, especially to non-members. I’ve also grown to understand the Socratic sentiment, “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”

Image by Loraine Ilia

I’ve since shared my testimony from a pulpit, starting with a sincere acknowledgment that despite having been a member of the Church for most of my life, from an eternal perspective, I don't really know anything. I know what I believe, what I've experienced, and how I feel. I also credit what I do know to the conscious application of what has become my favorite verse in the scriptures:

“...if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.”—Alma 32:27(emphasis added)

As I consider the elements of this verse that stand out to me, I feel comforted. Faculties are defined as inherent mental or physical power, in other words, the ability to use one’s mind and think critically.

While the word “experiment” may seem anachronistic in a book purported to have ancient origins, it does encapsulate several ideas that have existed for millennia, such as testing, examining, and proving. Its appeal to the science nerd in me is just a bonus.

Belief is not a prerequisite to faith, and faith doesn’t have to be blind. The experiment can be conducted with just a particle of faith. If the best we can do when it comes to believing is to just have a “desire to believe,” that’s as good a place as any to start.

We are not expected to know, believe, or understand everything completely and perfectly. Again, if the best we can do is to “give place for a portion” of the truth, so be it.

Experiments should be repeatable in the pursuit of truth. Repeatability ensures that results are reliable, consistent, and not just random. While the results of this particular experiment are subjective, it could be argued that similar subjective experiences may offer some semblance of peer review.

I often refer to this verse when describing my faith and conversion as ongoing. Yet, while conducting this experiment, I feel I have experienced three distinct conversions, each leading to the next.

Oakhurst, California

The first was my “paper conversion,” represented by the baptismal certificate I received when I became a member of the Church in central California in my youth. Our family was introduced to the faith when one of my older siblings married a Mormon. I joined simply because it was something my immediate family was doing together.

I remember being taught by Elders Gunther and Johnson about Christ coming to the Americas and thinking, “Well, that makes sense. Why wouldn’t Jesus come to America? Why wouldn’t He want to share His message with as many people as possible?”

Painting by Al Rounds

Looking back, I recognize that coming from a more traditional Catholic background was a somewhat difficult adjustment period. Concepts of propriety are also practically engrained in the broader culture that can influence our understanding and application of new ideas and practices. Nevertheless, we found friendship and community in our new faith and were sealed as a family in the Oakland, California Temple.

My second conversion was a conversion to the doctrine. Ten years after I joined the Church, I enlisted in the U.S. Navy, and while in boot camp, I had the opportunity to hear the missionary discussions again. It had been a decade since I had heard those lessons, and I wanted to reintroduce myself to the teachings that my family had embraced. Before that, I wasn't the most active member of the Church, and I knew that being in the military would present different challenges to me. I knew I needed help to remain true to who I was and what I felt was true. This sparked a great deal of studying and learning, and I wasn't disappointed by how much the Gospel stood up to my questions. However, I still wasn't the best example of a Latter-day Saint, falling victim to pride and unconsciously emulating those warned about by Nephi, who said, "When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not..." (2 Nephi 9:28)

My third conversion was to the Gospel of Jesus Christ when I came to an understanding that the Church is a tool to bring us to Christ and not an end unto itself. That doctrine is informed by the Gospel and does not define it; representing our understanding of the Gospel at any given moment, and as we evolve, it evolves with us. That there is a difference between the Church and the culture of its people. While I may become discouraged by the attitudes and actions of members, even those "in good standing," it isn't their approval I must seek. And that God is much more forgiving and understanding than they are. I can let go of the spiritual poisons of guilt and shame, which are not Gospel principles. I can open my mind and remain faithful to the Gospel and my covenants. God wants me to think for myself, to question and challenge, and as long as I am humble, those questions and challenges will be answered.

This is my testimony of the Gospel, and I share it in the name of Jesus Christ.

Joseph Louis Puente